Rough inspirations.

Simply put, I am fearful and inspired.

I’m inspired by the thought of being in this journalism class makes me feel like I’m a horrible writer. I love to write, but I have a hard time explaining myself on paper-- but only in this class, I guess. I'm in a class with a bunch of know-it-all writers and snobby editors that make me feel that I might be wrong even when I know I’m right.

In this class, I have become afraid to speak. For me this is bad, because I am a very introverted person. If i have a question, i usually keep it to myself. If i have a comment,  i quietly talk to my neighboring classmate. But ill hold my breath like a scared child if it gets too loud and someone else hears me.

“Open your mouth Tyi,” is what I’m saying to myself but then I think "well, no because you’re wrong. Completely wrong and because your wrong you don’t need everyone to know you thought that was right.”

This is my common self battle every day in this class. I am sure it’s because I’m afraid to look stupid. And although I should be over that, I am not. So right now I am inspired. Not by these people, but by my feeling of defeat.

I am really unsure of how to improve my writing skills or even overcome my fears, but right now I am feeling completely inspired. I love a challenge and this is a challenge I will have for the rest of my life if I don’t speak up now

I really think it’s because I’m an introverted person trying to step into world of people who like to talk and gloat about what they have accomplished instead of how they made a difference. But you know that might just be and my personal biased against the class that I am currently in.

When I joined the magazine class last semester I was expecting to learn how to write for a magazine and what it takes to be a writer, but I think I was in the wrong class!

I only gain half of that knowledge so I guess that’s good. I learned somewhat of what is takes to be a journalist.

I am a first year writer sitting in a class with a lot of people who have been writing for a while. It’s scary, but I am here and I’m not giving up. I am going to learn.

I am going to write and continue getting better.

I’m inspired.